Foiled Again

Foiled Again

Hmmm….What were they planning to do? The great present robbery?

Whilst I’m on a bad pun roll, here’s my favourite very bad Christmas joke that always pops into my head when I’m wandering around cake aisles:

Man is walking out of a supermarket when he feels a tap on the shoulder.

Is that cake stollen sir?

No I just paid for it.

Edward Scissorhands

Tuesday night was another first to cross off my invisible list. I saw my first full length dance production and loved every minute of it. I’d never seen the film but armed with a quick read of the synopsis on IMDB, felt brave enough to venture far north and brave both branches of the Northern Line to EC1R.

It is a truly magical and quirky show. The performances are entrancing, the set and costumes a delight and there are moments of great humour in there. One of the funniest scenes is where one of the mothers tries to seduce Edward into giving her a trim in the downstairs department while her husband mows the lawn in the background. The scene’s climax involves a washing machine and had the entire audience in stitches. If you can get tickets, I’d wholeheartedly recommend it.

The only disappointment of the evening was the lack of 5-way scissors at the souvenir stall. A missed merchandising opportunity I think and after all ’tis the present wrapping season where they would save so much time.

Oh and one more thing…as we left the fantastic Sadler’s Wells Theatre, my friend Lynn stuck her nose in her scarf and said “Oh no, I think I’ve done the perfume thing again”.

The ‘perfume thing’ is a reference to another theatre performance we went to many months ago. I think it may have been ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ but we couldn’t be sure. What we did remember was the Duke of Kent was sitting in the row in front because we both thought it was an unexpected choice for a Duke’s night out. Anyway, Lynn spent the entire interval and second act trying to find out who was wearing the wonderful perfume she could smell. She asked the lady on her left (no it wasn’t her) and she asked the lady in front (who shaked her head). The Duke escaped questioning on this occasion and was left to chortle undisturbed.

When we left the theatre, Lynn started laughing hysterically. I mean the show was funny but not so hilarious to bring a forty-something woman to her knees in a theatre foyer. When she’d stopped laughing enough to actually force some words out, she dropped the bombshell: “Oh Tin Tin, I think it’s me!”

An Atheist Weekend

This weekend, I’ve been on a voyage of discovery into the fascinating world of online atheism. What got me started down this rabbit hole was stumbling upon some great YouTube clips from a weekly cable TV show in Austin TX called The Atheist Experience:

The Best Caller Ever
Man Came From a Monkey
Why Don’t We See Real Miracles Today?

Parts of these clips come a little close to making fun out of a caller for their lack of education (which leaves a sour taste in the mouth) but to be fair I don’t think that’s their intention at all. I watched an entire “call in” show from start to finish and these guys are incredibly smart, generous with their knowledge and patient with callers. I learnt a lot.

Then there’s the individual YouTubers who are starting some fantastic debates:

Why I am an Atheist
It’s Tough Being an Atheist
My Dad Confronts Me About Atheism, Again
Child Dies Because Parents are Idiots

Going off on a tangent for a second, how fortunate are we to be living in these amazing times? Complete strangers can come together and discuss this important (and very much taboo) subject. That is the one of the most exciting things about the internet for me.

There are also some fantastic websites out there such as God is Imaginary which has some superb videos.

Finally just for entertainment, have a look at this page:
Caring for the Animals on the Ark

Here’s one of my favourite quotes:

Studies of nonmechanized animal care indicate that eight people could have fed and watered 16,000 creatures. The key is to avoid unnecessary walking around. As the old adage says, “Don’t work harder, work smarter.”

Words really do fail me…

Waltz With Bashir

This animated feature has been getting rave reviews and after seeing the film yesterday, I can see why. Waltz With Bashir is a fascinating documentary about Ari Folman (Director), piecing together his memories of the 1982 Lebanon War.

The movie is visually stunning and captivated me from start to end. Mixing photorealistic and illustrated elements in the same frame is an interesting style that jarred with me at first but somehow it works. The shocking ending is absolute genius and leaves us in no doubt about the inhumanity of war.

Izzard by the Sea

I went to see Eddie Izzard last night as part of his Stripped tour at the De La Warr Pavilion in Bexhill-on-Sea. I’m not sure why but this great talent seems to have passed me by. I’ve only ever seen bits of him on TV…you know a toe poking through a fishnet…(at least I think it was a toe).

Oh my goodness me he’s funny. A recurring phrase last night was “I’ve decided there is no God” which is a subject very close to my heart these days. A particular highlight was the rant about the impossibility of Noah’s ark. After setting it up by stating the perfectly reasonable “you get a pair of lions and tigers in an ark and there would be nothing left” he follows it up with a mock news report.

We’re just waiting for the people and animals to come out of the ark. Should be any moment now.Yes here they come…there’s two lions…and two tigers. [pause] Well I’m sure the others are just getting their stuff together.

Priceless. So now I’m an Eddie fan and have a lot of catching up to do.


A couple of weekends ago I had the pleasure of seeing the new production of Cabaret at the Birmingham Rep. I’d never seen the show or indeed the film before but had only heard good reports and this production did not disappoint.

Samantha Banks as Sally Bowles in Cabaret
Samantha Banks as Sally Bowles

Normally when it comes to theatre, I admit to being a stalls snob – if I can’t sit in the first 15 rows or so of the stalls, then I normally won’t go! I have a similar rule about flying long haul in economy…but that’s for another post. Cabaret had received such great reviews that it was fast selling out and the only option was to ‘slum it’ in the back row. More about that later.

From the moment Wayne Sleep pokes his head out of the O in the giant WILLKOMMEN letters to welcome us to Berlin, you know you’re in for a good evening. The cast are superb all round. Samantha Banks plays the female lead, Sally Bowles. In case you didn’t watch the BBC’s ‘I’d Do Anything’ talent search, she was one of the runners up. During the series I only warmed to her near the end, but if you see Cabaret, you’re in for a real treat. She has the most incredible voice even more so when you consider she’s only seventeen.

The only toe-curlingly embarrassing moment in the show is when Wayne Sleep breaks out of character and after a staged “mistake” involving switching places with a female dancer does a “you think I’m too old to do that do you?” routine with the audience. Suddenly we’re transported from Berlin in hot pants to Blackpool in panto. So tacky and unnecessary. Reminded me of seeing Connie Fisher in the Sound of Music when she got laughs for totally dropping out of character and being Connie. Something to do with eating a cake in a comedy fashion I seem to remember…

I can’t finish this post without mentioning the sound. I hadn’t been to the Birmingham Rep for many years and it’s such a great theatre. I don’t know whether it is known for good acoustics but every word was crystal clear and the orchestra sounded rich and sumptuous. Just wonderful, even from the back row. I heard other audience members commenting on it during the interval too.

So a big thumbs up for an amazing show. After Birmingham, the show visits Bristol, Liverpool, Nottingham, Manchester, Woking (I’ll be revisiting for a closer view), Cheltenham, Bath, Leeds, Truro, Northampton, Eastbourne, Malvern, Southampton, Hull, Aberdeen, Edinburgh and finishing up in Glasgow next April.

Full tour details on the Bill Kenwright site.

The Wizard of Oz

If you’ve ever wanted to try Scarecrow Salad at a sushi restaurant, buy a t-shirt proclaiming you as “A Friend of Dorothy” or remember that “There’s No Place Like Home” on a glittering red key ring, then the place to be this summer was London’s South Bank.

Yes folks, unless you’d been just been flattened by a small wooden house, there was no escaping the fact that The Wizard of Oz was in town.

My first childhood memory of The Wizard of Oz is watching it on TV at Christmas at my grandparents’ house and I seem to remember being quite terrified by the whole experience! In anticipation of seeing it on stage, I was almost tempted to crack open the ‘limited edition’ DVD that I bought for £5 in HMV two years ago (having been seduced by the kitsch packaging that plays the chorus of “We’re Off to See the Wizard” and lights up emerald city when you press the button)…but I resisted. Anyway I digress…

Whilst I’m a big fan of the amazing regeneration of the Royal Festival Hall (completed in 2007) this was my first time in the auditorium and I was disappointed. It had a very clinical feel somewhat akin to an aircraft hangar with seats. Perhaps I’m being unfair and it wasn’t looking its best. The RFH is after all a concert hall rather than a theatre so the space was dominated by a temporary stage (with the obligatory revolve) that had been built above the existing stage. The set was a large curved steel structure with clumps of telegraph poles either side and a video screen at first floor level flanked by torn vintage American billboard posters.

Act One was quite enjoyable if slow at times. You can’t beat a stage full of cute kids singing their munchkin hearts out and Toto was a true professional. The orchestra played with gusto and the disney-esque angelic choral voices sent the obligatory shivers down the spine but there was something dark and menacing looming overhead. It soon became clear during the pivotal (and completely underwhelming) twister scene that the role played by the video projector was bordering on the comical.

Artist's impression of the terrifying twister graphics
Reconstruction of the terrifying twister graphics

Now given the limitations of the venue, I can completely understand why the designer put in a video screen as the centrepiece of the set. The great thing about a video screen is that it’s a blank canvas. You can put ANYTHING on there. Unfortunately that’s exactly what we got. A mish mash of childish and unimaginative graphics. Not even childish in a charming way, just really, seriously, unforgivably crap.

The wonder of the emerald city graphic
The Emerald City really was quite a sight

So as Dorothy and her friends reached the outskirts of the green shapes…sorry I mean Emerald City, we filed out to the bar for a quick top up. “Ooh look it’s Alan Rickman collecting his preordered drinks”. Sensible man and don’t his female companions look fetching in their ‘A Friend of Alan’ t-shirts.

Act Two kicked off in unseasonal panto style with the intrepid foursome entering through the audience but after that, I was in grave danger of nodding off. Like Dorothy, the production really seemed to lose its way. Clunky, drawn out and downright dull are the words that sprang to mind.

On the upside, the performances were all solid. Adam Cooper in particular was a delight to watch as the balletic Tin Man. Hilton McRae as the Scarecrow did some amazing things with straw and Gary Wilmot played the Cowardly Lion with a light touch and humour, although his campness seemed to come and go like Toto. A portly Roy Hudd (is it me or does he never seem to age?) played the great wizard with all the genial homeliness that you’d expect from a national treasure.

But ultimately the show failed to hit the mark. The lack of pace (the show was almost three hours long with interval), the misconceived graphics and overall lack of magic, energy and wonderment made me feel very much like Dorothy’s disappointment on discovering the great Wizard of Oz isn’t all that he appears.

Top marks for marketing and merchandising but a great shame that the production didn’t live up to the hype.

Apple’s Get a Mac ads are back on form

Just when it was looking like the campaign was running out of steam, there are some new Get a Mac ads that had me laughing out loud again. Apart from the great writing and performances, the thing I like most about these is the sheer audacity of it all.

There were various reports a while back that viewers empathised with the PC character more than the Mac character but looking at how Apple’s marketshare is doing, it probably doesn’t matter. The ads (and the iPhone) sure are doing the trick!

Confessions of an Ideas Junkie

A couple of weekends ago, I listened to an interesting podcast from a SXSW 2008 session entitled (wait for it…) A General Theory of Creative Relativity. Yes, a natty little title. At the end of the Q&A section, a woman in the audience spoke about how she thought the initial development of an idea is the most exciting part of the process. I smiled a smile of recognition.

The truth is, I’ve always been an ideas person. It’s something that has always come very naturally to me, sometimes too naturally. Once the tap has been opened, it’s not so much of a steady drip as a gushing geyser. And herein lies the problem – I have more ideas than I know what to do with.

In the same way that some actors say they start inhabiting their character from the shoes upwards, I have to start with a product name and very often a logo. The logo will probably go through several design interations and I will happily spend hours on researching as many aspects as I can dream up. For website ideas, possible domain names are shortlisted, availability is checked, and often domains are purchased on the spot for fear of someone else having exactly the same idea (and cruelly snatching potential success and fortune from my hands).

One week later, and all of this is a distant memory. My mind is now buzzing with the next big thing. There’s another bolt out of the blue two years later when the domain comes up for renewal. This is usually greeted with a slap on the forehead, “Oh yes, I remember that one!”, swiftly followed by “Is it REALLY two years already?”

So what’s the solution?

  • A: Stop thinking up new ideas. Unlikely.
  • B: Carry on as before with only a fraction of ideas making it to a finished product because I have neither the time or resources to take them to the next stage. Easy.
  • C: Sell or licence ideas. Challenging.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I can’t sit here writing anymore, I’ve got to start work on a fantastic idea I’ve just had. See you at

Tunnel de L’amour

At the end of last year, St Pancras International became the swanky new home of the Eurostar terminal in London after 13 years at Waterloo. Soon after the closure of the Waterloo terminal, Eurostar put up a hoarding plastered with a bunch of facts and figures on the passengers carried over the years.

I’ve been walking past this hoarding for months but only yesterday did I notice this (very Virgin Atlantic style) cheeky little figure at the bottom…

If my maths is correct, that works out at an average of one shag per hundred trains. The million dollar question is whether this figure and the one above it are somehow connected?